When we saw this post in our Facebook group asking mums to share their hard-earned wisdom to new mums, we just knew we had to share it! From ‘don’t buy so many clothes’ to ‘ask for help!’ and insights about sleeping, feeding, and making sure you’re actually IN some of the thousands of photos you’ll take, these pearls of wisdom and advice to new mums that should resonate with us all!
“With the wisdom and hindsight you now have, what advice would you give to a first time Mum that you wish you’d had yourself?” Here’s some great advice to new mums.
“Listen to your gut. You will be surprised at how much you will just know. Ignore the people who criticise your way just cos it is different. Don’t get upset everything, it is wasted time and energy. Enjoy the cuddles and time with the baby.”- Mamata
“Don’t overthink it! Use your intuition. Happy, healthy mum is very important.” – Leila
“Trust your gut! It’s your instinctive warning system.”- Nikki
“Take any parenting books with a grain of salt… and trust your own instincts!” – Rachel
“Certain books will tell you that a baby should and will sleep for 2 hours on their own in a cot, then wake for 2 hours then sleep for 2 hours- as simple and as easy as that!
“Some babies won’t sleep on their own for years, some won’t go to bed sleepy but still awake and some babies will need feeding to sleep. But they all get there in the end. You won’t stuff up your child’s life by comforting them to sleep” – Juliet
“I was given the advice to never correct the way your husband or partner does things like changing the nappy, dressing Bub or feeding Bub, it’s their way and it’s getting done and if they feel they can’t do it well enough they will bow out as they will feel judged. It was fantastic and my husband and I definitely do 50/50 of all parent duties.”- Bianca
“Sleep as much as you can now. Use your friends, neighbours, family as your village. You don’t have to do it alone. If you need help, ask ” – Leanne
Image courtesy: Harlly & Co Photography
“When the baby sleeps in the day don’t worry about the washing or mess around the house… sleep too.. You can never catch up with lack of sleep.”- Julijana
“I constantly worried about “staying on top” of the chores. I wish I’d known it was my mental health that was more important than a tidy house.”- Sarah
“Have fun with your kids!” – Naomi
“It’s ok not to breastfeed. I breastfed for a month (I got food poisoning) during this time my daughter was on formula. formula. One of my breasts didn’t have the gland to produce enough milk and I only breastfed to keep other people happy. After introducing formula, Chloe was happier (slept through the night since 4 weeks) I was happier, my post partum blues went away and hubby got to bond with Chloe (previously he just got to change the nappies and then gave her to me).” -Eloise
“If you don’t want hubby in birthing room – ask for him to leave and be assertive.” – Monique
“Stop with the damn tracking of everything!!! Put the phone notes and apps away and Just follow baby cues rather than a clock. I was obsessive with my first and struggled so much with settling. The second I just go with the flow and it’s million times easier!!” – Elsja
“Do what works for you. Trust your instinct. I’ve always found the statement “the days are long, but the years are short” to be a way to ground myself. Remember everything will pass. A baby who doesn’t sleep will sleep eventually. You also won’t enjoy every age and that’s perfectly fine.”- Lauren
“Remember that your husband is the next best qualified to look after bub. It’s a learning curve for him as well. Just because hubby does things differently to how you would doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.” – Sonya
“Whatever you do, you’ll always think you’re not doing enough and someone else is doing better. Don’t. We all do the best we can and we all doubt ourselves. You might be someone else’s picture of the perfect mum.” – Nicola
“Looking after baby is real work. You are being productive just looking after baby. You don’t need to do more.”- Divisha
“You are a new mum so just as new as your baby, as gentle and understanding as you are of your baby needing help and support be the same to yourself. It is a steep learning curve and a constant work in progress so do what feels right. And be kind to yourself.” – Felicity
Image courtesy: Harlly & Co Photography
“Mattress protector/sheet/Mattress protector/sheet. That way when there’s a poo-splosion or epic spew in the cot/bassinet in the middle of the night you just strip the top layers and you’ve a readymade bed ready to go. Also get yourself some men’s briefs to wear in the hospital. The ballsack room gives you a nice space for those surfboard maternity pads without putting any additional pressure on your disaster zone.” – Natalie
“Patience, stamina and resilience are the name of the game. Don’t set any deadlines in the first 6 weeks, just go with the flow.”- Stacey
“Keep the bar low – sleep whenever you can – lots of take away and no cooking – cuddle and leave that pile of laundry for another day! Mine are 13/11/8/4 and I wish I had cuddled them even more as newborns then I did which was A LOT already! Everyone says it goes fast…it does ❤️” – Nicole
“Frozen veggies are ok. Keep things simple.” – Lottie
“Spend those minutes in their room after lights out watching them go to sleep!”- Kate
“Remember this too shall pass & take it an hour at a time. Literally baby steps. Know that everything gets soooo much easier by 8 weeks then once you hit 12 it’s incredible. I had so many ‘wtf have I done’ moments at the start lol but as time I went it became an absolute joy (almost at 5 months now).” – Fiona
“During those long days/nights, think of it as ‘he/she isn’t giving me a hard time, they’re having a hard time’ …. there’s a big difference!”- Bec
“Let go & surrender. Life will return to a new normal but for now your baby needs you and they call the shots.” – Leah
“You will learn to love them, hate them and hit repeat – but they are yours and you will understand what I say in 15 years! It’s not all amazing hang in there! They are yours and they are gorgeous! Be real and don’t be a helicopter! That’s my advice – probs not the best! But at the end of the day be U and don’t overthink.” – Jennifer
“Don’t worry about the small things. The baby won’t starve & everything will work out! Accept all the help that is offered!! Enjoy every moment because it goes by so quickly!! My first baby will be turning 13 soon & I just can’t believe where the time has gone!” – Tanya
“Not everyone can breastfeed. And if you are one of the ones who can’t don’t beat your self up about it. I tried pumping for 6 months and topping up and thanks to breastfeeding, topping up with pumped milk, then topping up with formula I almost drove my self crazy. The guilt I felt was huge. I wish I could have told my self to not feel guilty over something that was just not in my control.” – Angie
“If you want to sleep with your Bubba. Do it. They are so little for such a short time.”- Joanna
“Practice your head tilt and the “Oh are you ok? You just said (*repeat rude comment*) out loud” to anyone who says or asks something that is none of their business.” – Anna
Image courtesy: Harlly & Co Photography
“Something is only a problem if it’s a problem to you. Don’t worry about what others think is ‘normal’ or ‘right’ do what you are comfortable with.” – Rachel
“Take more video of the every day stuff.”- Nicky
“Don’t pressure yourself to breast feed, or cloth nappy, or be the “perfect” “Pinterest” mum. You will do the best you can, and you’ll do whatever you have to do to ensure you and baby are happy and healthy. After months of therapy I can finally see that”- Charlene
“1. It’s OK to say, “This is really hard. 2. Say yes to all offers of food (fresh, frozen or take-away).” – Dani
“If you have a partner, make sure you always make sure you continue to have quality time with them when you can and not become totally absorbed with your kids, especially when you have little ones.” – Tikki
“Smell your baby. It’s just for a short time :)”- Mehri
“Take lots of photos and loads with you in them. I have heaps with other people but not so many of me in them. Read to them everyday, even when they are newborns. Even if it’s just Facebook posts they love your voice.”- Charlotte
“Don’t buy as many clothes.” – Melinda
“Best advice I ever got was if you don’t know what to do don’t be afraid to ask. You don’t get given a manual. There is so much pressure on women that “they should just know, they have the instinct” and whilst a lot of the time you do, sometimes you just don’t. Always ask the professionals as you’ll always get a lot of conflicting advice from friends a family and all babies are different. Good luck” – Sara
“Don’t puree, just baby lead weaning and give them exactly what you have cooked for the family!”- Lucy
“The first year with baby in tough for a new mom. But remember that this phase will pass. The sleepless nights are a phase and don’t compare your child to others in your mothers group. Some babies may sleep better or eat better then yours…who cares!!!”- Kashmira
“I’d say that it’s important to work out who will do what chores at home with your partner ahead of time (split tasks) and work on the assumption that the mums job is to care for baby when dad at work. Eg. There is little time for household chores and anything mum gets done during day is a bonus not an expectation.” – Robby
“Cuddles. Lots and lots of cuddles. The first few months that’s all bubba wants (and nourishment of course). Whenever you’re able to (between the usual of showers, eating and attempting sleep!). Accept help and know that the infant stage comes and goes …See more.”- Natalie
“Enjoy every single moment, don’t take anything for granted. I regret not truly enjoying all the moments of my last baby; those days of being stuck to the couch holding a clingy baby, rocking a baby to sleep, all those things you normally wish to pass.”- Marie
“Have really low expectations on what you can get done in a day. You’ll be caring for a baby, not being a housekeeper! Ending the day with a fed and cared for baby is winning, even if your house is messy. Remember to feed and care for yourself too!” – Jo
“Trust your instincts- look after yourself- take it easy- crying has never killed a baby so if you need to leave the baby cry (in a safe spot) and go to a different room and take a breath, do it.” – Sadaf
“Don’t feel pressured to have them “sleep through the night”. It’s not realistic and it’s normal for babies to wake frequently for a LONG time. It’s exhausting and lonely but it will pass and you will survive. Also you are the best mum for your baby. Trust yourself, you know best.” – Toni
“Catnapping is normal. Try not to stress about the duration of baby’s naps! Let them sleep in the carrier, get out for a walk! It is not “normal” for them to sleep through the night (still waiting at 4yrs and 2yrs!). Also, cluster feeding is normal at any time of day. Don’t stress about times or durations of breastfeeds – if in doubt, whip it out!”- Signe
“Build a support team because every bit of help should be welcomed. Don’t assume older people know more than you about your child.”- Denise
Image: Harlly & Co Photography
“It’s a marathon run with no finishing line, you just hold a baton to pass to your child when they’re ready to run on their own. Some days you’ll feel exhilarated like you’re flying. Others you’ll hit the wall and have to keep running. You’ll get chaff you’re flying. Others you’ll hit the wall and have to keep running. You’ll get chafed nipples. Take water stops, accept help when needed and run your own race. Don’t sweat the small stuff (enter Frozen song here) and remember the long game…kids are more resilient than you realise…and cuddle, always make time for cuddles!” – Lola
“Our first and last job is to love them and fight for them. Do what it takes to make sure you are on THEIR side and defend yourself, nurture yourself as best you can against all other trials and tribulations to be able to do THIS job. Sometimes that means ‘me time’, sometimes that means ‘mummy time’, sometimes means strengthening yourselves as a family and sometimes strengthening your bonds of friendship. What supports you must also support your child. But remember, not everything that supported you in the past still works when parenting. And you will need to set down new prop roots. Do so. Grow. It is not just your child who must grow. Every parent is a newborn with every child they nurture and must grow with them. Just like your growing child, you will make mistakes. Be keen to take stock of yourself and your co-parent. Take care to help each other grow—it is the best way to support your child too. Nurture each other, don’t tear each other down. At the same time, remember you and other caregivers are the adults. YOU take the punches life throws at the family, and roll with them. Your child is not your shield, not your medal, not your albatross.” – Anjali
“Try not to ‘fix’ sleep regressions. They are developmental and it will only stress you out. Bunker down for a while and let it run its course. Also you don’t need a million blankets and soft toys. They take up space, they don’t need more than a few & use sleeping bags until they sleep in their own bed anyway! Soft toys are lovely but can be a breeding ground for dust mites and they don’t ‘play’ with them as much as interactive toys, they are more of a comfort.” – Jenna
Thanks to Sarah Hulme from Harlly & Co Photography for providing these beautiful images capturing those precious few days with a new baby. You can find her in the NSM Directory or follow her on Facebook.
