How to know if you’re a ‘bad mother’


We all want to be the best parent we can be- but are you forgetting the MOST important thing about being a mum? Lucy Ellis from Rocking Your Imperfect explains how to be the best mum you can… by drinking your coffee while it’s still hot.


Lucy Ellis from Rocking your Imperfect

Are you giving and being ‘everything to everybody’…putting your needs off to be there for others…ignoring your own signs of needing help…?

Then stop it!  It will literally kill you! Start showing your kids, and most importantly start showing yourself, that you are worth it!

When we stop looking after our own needs and resign ourselves to being the giver, the provider and the nurturer,  we send our kids, ourselves and everybody else the message that we’re not worth it!  I want you, the gorgeous mum reading this article, to truly take on board the message I’m giving you today. This is as important for your family as it is for you!

It’s a simple message and it goes like this:

You’re a bad mother…if you don’t put yourself first!

I am not saying that you should not give your children what they need. Give them everything they need. Provide for them and nurture all you want girlfriend!

But what I am saying… is that you must come first.

When you’re not focussed on your needs, things don’t going to go to plan, and that’s when….

  • You’re likely to become the shouty mum
  • You start snapping at your husband and loading him with your expectations
  • You might even feel overwhelmed by seemingly simple tasks, like writing out a permission slip

You know that feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed manage to target you when you are feeling the most helpless and out of control. So being in this state of mind is dangerous and it’s not to be taken lightly… so stop blowing off your needs and desires! I see too many women having breakdowns, lacking confidence, suffering depression and anxiety… just because they are LOST! They don’t know who they are anymore. They  have spent their life giving giving giving and have forgotten how to receive!

Even if your sole passion in life is to be the best mum that you can possibly be, I stand by my simple message…

You’re a bad mother if you don’t look after yourself first!

Anything that you want to achieve or have in your life is not going to happen if you do not put yourself first. Simple things like;

  • Eat first while the food is still hot
  • Go to the gym, even if you put the kids into the crèche
  • Make the foods that YOU want to eat
  • Go to the hairdressers and enjoy every luscious second of it and don’t feel guilty!
  • Go to the doctor, get that thing looked at
  • What happened to date night? Bring that baby back!

If you put your needs first you will be showing your kids and yourself that you’re worth it.

Put yourself BACK INTO YOUR LIFE! You’re the lead role in this picture girlfriend!

Remember, if we don’t show our kids they have full responsibility for looking after their own needs and desires, then they will grow up with a belief system that someone else will do it for them.

Can you imagine? Waiting on a knight in shining armour to ‘save’ you…or holding on for a Cinderella who is going to be the ‘perfect fit’… The stuff of fairytales surely, but they will always be looking for fulfilment from someone else. It doesn’t matter what you say to your kids…they will be watching and absorbing your actions and basing their very own belief system on your actions, so it’s up to you to make a difference!

It’s important to remember that above all,  you’re a person with needs and desires and YOU MATTER THE MOST!

You’re not ‘just’ a mum…

You’re not ‘just’ a wife…

You’re not ‘just’  an office worker, or a teacher, or a doctor (you get the picture!)…

You’re a woman!

Connect with what it feels like to be a woman- completely separate from your kids, separate from your husband, separate from the household and to-do lists, and separate from your career.

Ask yourself:

  • What does it feel like to be you?
  • What are your desires?

When you start identifying with yourself again, you will find your confidence!  You feel worth it! You will put yourself in the picture and your spouse will fall in love with you all over again! Your kids will admire you. You will be subconsciously teaching them that they are important and they can live their life on their terms.

I want to leave you with a little technique to get you started:

When you say to your kids or your spouse (or anyone for that matter), ‘I love you’… I want you instead to say ‘I love me, and I love you.’

Encourage them to reply back ‘I love me, and I love you.’

You, my darling sista, are going to start putting yourself in the picture!

Hear more from amazing hypnotherapist Lucy when Lucy Ellis – Rocking Your Imperfect comes to North Sydney next Tuesday 16 August.

There are two 3-hour sessions for women wanting more confidence!

Lucy is a hypnotherapist…but not just any hypnotherapist. She combines her hypno with counselling, creative work and also her own unique touch to deliver results that are powerful and long-lasting. We’ve also heard the sessions are lots of fun!

Tickets are just $47 for the 3-hour session, and limited spots are left. Click here for details:


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