‘My baby is an IVF baby,’ announced Carly Dalby on the North Shore Mums Facebook group just the other night. She then wrote about her IVF experience. What followed was a barrage of other mums all showing their support, many of who shared their own IVF tales. Here are some of them…
This day a year ago one of my embryos was placed inside me, and now, a year on, we have our beautiful son.
It has not been an easy journey for us, filled with disappointment month after month for two years trying to fall pregnant.
Countless doctors appointments, tests, medications, herbal remedies and their side effects, ultrasounds, acupuncture, egg retrievals, 7am daily blood tests, injections, failed attempts, the waiting and then, on top of all that, the emotional roller coaster that comes with all of this.
The tears that you shed just wondering if this will ever happen.
The waiting rooms full at 7 am with women’s faces avoiding eye contact because they are embarrassed and somehow feel less like a woman because they need assistance to fall pregnant.
The lying you do to avoid telling people what is really going on. Why I am late to work or that we wanted to be married for a while before having kids. It is just easier avoiding the issue because you are too sad to talk about it, and emotionally exhausted.
No couple seeks fertility treatment without some sort of struggle.
If one woman reads this and instead of avoiding eye contact shares a smile with someone who is going through this difficult time in the waiting room, if one woman feels less shame and sadness about having to go down this route to try and have a baby then we as society will be in a better place.
Because we are real women. We are real tough, strong women, who are filled with so much love and determination that we would go through anything to get us the baby we want.
I am so grateful that we got our baby boy, even if the wait was longer than we expected. He makes me the best mum I can be.
It’s time to break the stigma.
More IVF mums have their say…
Gloria: My Small One was an IVF miracle – two cycles, 20 eggs, 13 fertilised, two embryos deemed viable for genetic testing to eliminate any genetic glitches, as I am a carrier of a rare genetic disease which resulted in my Big One having to undergo a bone marrow transplant at 13 months. ONE and only one embryo survived and he’s now the most raucous, vivacious, funniest, loudest 19-month-old you’ll ever come across. I remember those 7am waiting rooms, and the weary looks on everyone’s faces. I’m thankful for my healthy boys, and I am proud to tell everyone about our IVF journey. Thank you for sharing yours.
Alex: I’m about to have two very precious IVF boys and I’ve always been the one chatting to others in the waiting room. I’ve never hidden what we were doing. Each of us is different; we deal with our journeys our own way – no-one being right or wrong. Just right for us. It’s tough when you see or hear about those who get lucky first or second go when there are those of us who don’t. Especially after conceiving naturally once with no issue.
We’ve done four full cycles with egg pick-ups and these two I’m carrying now are embryo seven and eight. After 41/2 years of trying to give our daughter a sibling, including 18 months of IVF and one miscarriage after not getting a heartbeat, we got lucky and are giving her two at once!
Every baby is precious, but those who’ve come after such a struggle are tinged with just a little more magic. Congrats on your beautiful baby.
Renée: Here’s me doing my first injection about five years ago. I remember those deep fears of: What if I’m one of the ones nothing works for? What if I can never have children? Such a terrifying thought. Luckily, we have been successful twice and now we’re gearing up for child number three with my third frozen embryo. I must say I’ve never understood the look on friends faces when I suggest IVF to them – they would not even consider doing it. I’ve never been embarrassed and I believe God is just as much involved in creating this little human being. How lucky we are that through technological advances we can enjoy his gifts of children. When I was in the waiting room the second time around I smiled directly at those mums looking down and told them to hang in there while my boisterous two-year-old was bouncing about. I’m amazed at how many people I meet in the street I tell our story to who then tell me they also had been through IVF. Such a big journey, but so worth it. I still tell my now four-year-old, ‘You know you made all my dreams come true’.
Heidi: I’m an IVF mumma and we had been trying to conceive for two years, too. My bub is now 11 weeks old and, without the help of IVF, I would be lost. I have five frozen eggs left and so my hubby wants five more kids!
Elisa: Oh my gosh I remember those waiting rooms with not one smile or glance between us, so sad. And then the looks you get if you are successful and go for number two! No-one knows each other’s journeys, how many cycles, how many miscarriages, how many tears! I agree we need to be kind to each other – the good vibes can only do good.
Ana: We went through exactly the same. I always tried to break the ice in the waiting room, and at the end all the nurses knew me as the troublemaker because I made everyone laugh. After a year of disappointments, thank God today I am 27 weeks off our first child!
Natalie: My second baby was an IVF miracle after five years of trying and eight IVF rounds … I feel blessed that all the hard work brought our gorgeous boy to us.
Have you gone on the IVF journey, just like the mums above? Share your story in the comments section below…
More on IVF…
- IVF and me
- IVF explained: Could in-vitro fertilisation be for you?
- Infertility and IVF: The dad’s side…