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Odd Sock Syndrome

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OddSocks

It seems to me that no matter now diligent the washer, how neat and tidy the household or how loved the socks are, some couples are just not meant to stay together. Sock monogamy – does this still exist these days?

We renovated our house. Once the dust had settled, literally, I became obsessive with everything in its place, a place for everything. I decluttered on a daily basis, still do, to the point where my mother bought some of our discarded items from the local Vinnies as they ‘matched the one we had at home’. Naturally they matched, they were in fact one and the same. I donated the items; she donated the money and brought them home again. This was becoming a vicious cycle!

As part of this frenzied decluttering movement, I found myself with a skip bin worth of solo socks. How does this happen?

I decided to hold hostage all the single socks in my household in a shopping bag. One week in the hold is all you have to find your sole-mate. Unlucky in love and you’re out! I figured that one week, seven full days, would give all the rebellious partners time to think it through and come home.

Some did, but there was still half a bag of singles keeping the home fires burning. Like women during wartime, waiting patiently for their loved ones to return, these socks stood firm. Tick-tock-single-sock. Time is now up and I have seen the week out. There were a few late arrivers who just made the cut-off and it was magical to see the pair reunited and placed proudly back together in a ball and into the sock drawer of their owner, back in their rightful place.

I threw the rogues out, emptied the bag. Liberation!

I now had a house with nil, zip, zero odd socks. Amazing. Definitely a first for this household.

Odd sock syndrome is like a termite. Silently creeping up on you and destroying your equilibrium. Before you know it, it takes hold of your laundry and you fall victim once again. I was determined to outdo this intruder and so I re-opened the singles club shopping bag. Alone in the basket? Lost and can’t find your way home? Found yourself hiking alone through the mountains of laundry? In the bag you go, and out. This time there was no 7-day grace period. Once there were three socks in that bag I binned it.

Before too long I had freed my household from Odd Sock Syndrome. It may sound rash but we no longer have any, not one, odd socks in our household. Cold feet maybe, but no odd socks.

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