As much as I am enjoying motherhood, there are days that are just plain… horrible. Those sort of days are filled with tears, full of pain and I am left plagued with self doubt.
Here are some of my real, completely honest (and somewhat morbid) thoughts since becoming a mum:
- Sometimes, I think it is all too much. In fact, once when I was feeling particularly drained, both emotionally and physically, I informed my husband Stu that “I’ve had enough!” before storming out of the house. I returned half an hour later. These days when I feel like this, I hand bub over to Stu the minute he returns home from work, and treat myself to a long hot bath.
- Once I cut one of Alexander’s nails too deep it bled. It didn’t bother him the least, but I was in tears because I had hurt my baby.
- Sometimes he sleeps so soundly, I have had to place my finger under his nose to make sure he is still breathing.
- I wish I had traveled more, partied more, gone out more before I fell pregnant. Though I think I will forever be plagued with wanderlust.
- I love to watch him sleep.
- I am terrified of dropping him, especially when he is wet and slippery after a bath.
- I have been buying (expensive) shoes online to make myself happier. Retail therapy does work a treat for me.
- I seriously wonder when I’ll be able to wear my lovely silk/cashmere/non-nursing clothes again.
- I long for a break from mummy duties but I miss him so much when he’s not with me.
- I hear baby cries all the time. I hear it in the wind, when I’m in the shower, when I’m in a loud food court, when I’m vacuuming, when I am asleep. But when I really stop and listen, I then realise it’s all just in my head. Crazy much?
- I tend to eat when I’m wearing Alex in a carrier. And I always end up dropping food crumbs on his head.
- Sometimes when he spews a little in his bassinet, I simply place a face towel over the wet spot instead of changing the sheets.
- I have screamed at him a few times.
- I may have called him a [email protected] a few times.
- I get out of doing housework by blaming the baby.
Do you have any confessions to make? Make me feel more normal by sharing them below!